I particularly enjoy being polyamorous when the best spouse ever is away on business and outsources the onerous job of entertaining me, such that I have weekends like this:
***
The best lover ever (note to other lovers: you are also the best lover ever. In a different way) came over on an early flight and purposefully built my anticipation by refusing to call me when his flight got in, so I was stuck at the parking lot waiting unnecessarily (OK, that's a lie. It was a new airport, and I suck at reading signs). He warned me earlier to have a full gas tank. He did not warn me to have an overnight bag packed. That one was a surprise.
After a delightful outdoor lunch in lovely weather (but why did we only get one fork for two meals?!?!?!), we hopped in the car. He drove, because we knew where we were going, and I did not (here's where another of the best lovers ever comes in: a picture from her that I got the day before finally decided to come up on my phone, and the two occupants of my car enviously admired her spooky Halloween-esque preserved eyeballs). In an unfortunate combination of traffic and my falling asleep during my navigatory duties (hey-- he got in early!!), we missed the exit for our first stop and went straight to the town where we had dinner reservations. We were several hours early, so we wandered through a lovely fall festival full of beer and rock bands that featured slightly heavyset blonde lead singers.
The weather was so nice that we allowed ourselves enough distraction to arrive late for dinner, despite an excellent parallel parking job that earned the comment, "you're not from around this town if you park that well, are you?" Really good food. Quite good booze. I was told there was no need to be sober for our next activity, which I had more or less figured out by the giant haunted prison across the street.
Oooh, haunted house season, and in a decrepit prison, no less! The walls were crumbling. The make-up was awesome. The women in front of us couldn't stop screaming, even when they got exchanged for different women. One room was in 3-D. Another had moving walls. There was even a werewolf, probably in homage to the historical Prison Dog (who inspired the only completely cute object in the gift shop).
And that's not all. After a bit of refreshment (there's still no need to be sober for the rest of the night's activities...), we went to...
...wait for it...
... another haunted house! But not just any haunted house. The best haunted house in the country. #1, according to some survey or other (there are discordant opinions sometimes).
Um... yeah. The prison was better. Except for getting poked by a vibrating chainsaw. Oh, and the giant blood splattered Easter bunny with the axe.
Next day began with brunch and another fall festival, this one featuring chili rather than beer. A mishap with the GPS sent us to... another fall festival! This one featured well-preserved classic cars. Well worth the detour, even if brunch left us too full to try the crab fries.
We eventually made our leisurely way home, stopping at a state park for a fall walk and Tarzan-swing on a particularly sturdy vine. And we were finally rewarded for all the driving by partaking of the best crab bisque (was that what it was? I'm sleepy after all that excitement) ever. Even though I've never seen that one reviewed on line.
There was still no reason to be sober for the night's activities.
***
The best lover ever (note to other lovers: you are also the best lover ever. In a different way) came over on an early flight and purposefully built my anticipation by refusing to call me when his flight got in, so I was stuck at the parking lot waiting unnecessarily (OK, that's a lie. It was a new airport, and I suck at reading signs). He warned me earlier to have a full gas tank. He did not warn me to have an overnight bag packed. That one was a surprise.
After a delightful outdoor lunch in lovely weather (but why did we only get one fork for two meals?!?!?!), we hopped in the car. He drove, because we knew where we were going, and I did not (here's where another of the best lovers ever comes in: a picture from her that I got the day before finally decided to come up on my phone, and the two occupants of my car enviously admired her spooky Halloween-esque preserved eyeballs). In an unfortunate combination of traffic and my falling asleep during my navigatory duties (hey-- he got in early!!), we missed the exit for our first stop and went straight to the town where we had dinner reservations. We were several hours early, so we wandered through a lovely fall festival full of beer and rock bands that featured slightly heavyset blonde lead singers.
The weather was so nice that we allowed ourselves enough distraction to arrive late for dinner, despite an excellent parallel parking job that earned the comment, "you're not from around this town if you park that well, are you?" Really good food. Quite good booze. I was told there was no need to be sober for our next activity, which I had more or less figured out by the giant haunted prison across the street.
Oooh, haunted house season, and in a decrepit prison, no less! The walls were crumbling. The make-up was awesome. The women in front of us couldn't stop screaming, even when they got exchanged for different women. One room was in 3-D. Another had moving walls. There was even a werewolf, probably in homage to the historical Prison Dog (who inspired the only completely cute object in the gift shop).
And that's not all. After a bit of refreshment (there's still no need to be sober for the rest of the night's activities...), we went to...
...wait for it...
... another haunted house! But not just any haunted house. The best haunted house in the country. #1, according to some survey or other (there are discordant opinions sometimes).
Um... yeah. The prison was better. Except for getting poked by a vibrating chainsaw. Oh, and the giant blood splattered Easter bunny with the axe.
Next day began with brunch and another fall festival, this one featuring chili rather than beer. A mishap with the GPS sent us to... another fall festival! This one featured well-preserved classic cars. Well worth the detour, even if brunch left us too full to try the crab fries.
We eventually made our leisurely way home, stopping at a state park for a fall walk and Tarzan-swing on a particularly sturdy vine. And we were finally rewarded for all the driving by partaking of the best crab bisque (was that what it was? I'm sleepy after all that excitement) ever. Even though I've never seen that one reviewed on line.
There was still no reason to be sober for the night's activities.
No comments:
Post a Comment